If you want to be popular as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors
Popularity isn’t just for high school. It’s something we all crave, no matter our age. But as we get older, the rules of the game change.
Certain behaviors that may have won you friends in your youth can actually hinder your popularity in later life.
If you want to be well-liked as you mature, it’s time to let go of these habits.
Let’s dive in!
1) Trying to please everyone
As we get older, it’s natural to want to maintain good relationships with everyone.
But here’s the thing: It’s impossible to please everyone all the time.
When you try to be everything to everyone, you end up being nothing to no one.
You lose your individuality, your voice and, most importantly, your authenticity.
Being popular isn’t about catering to everyone’s whims. It’s about being genuine and real.
People respect and gravitate towards those who are comfortable in their own skin and stand by their beliefs.
If you want to enhance your popularity as you age, stop trying to please everyone around you. It’s not just exhausting but also counterproductive.
Instead, focus on being true to yourself. That’s the type of person others are drawn to – someone who’s unapologetically themselves.
2) Holding onto grudges
As we age, it’s easy to accumulate a collection of grudges. I remember a time when I held onto a resentment against a close friend for years.
The resentment built up, and it started to affect not only my relationship with that friend but also my relationships with others and even my own happiness.
Eventually, I realized that holding onto that grudge was doing me more harm than good. It was like carrying around a heavy sack of negativity everywhere I went.
Once I decided to let it go, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Holding onto grudges can keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward.
It can also make you seem bitter and unapproachable – two traits that are certainly not conducive to popularity.
As we get older, it’s important to learn the art of forgiveness. Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong done to you.
It simply means freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and making room for more positive experiences in your life.
3) Resistance to change
As humans, we are creatures of habit.
However, did you know that our ability to adapt and embrace change is actually a survival mechanism?
According to Charles Darwin, it’s not the strongest or most intelligent species that survive, but those most responsive to change.
Yet, as we age, we often become more set in our ways, resisting new ideas or changes.
This resistance can be off-putting to others and can hinder your popularity. It can make you seem closed-minded and unwilling to grow.
Embracing change doesn’t mean you have to accept every new trend or idea that comes along.
But being open to new experiences and perspectives can make you more interesting and attractive to others.
It shows that you’re willing to learn, grow, and adapt – qualities that are universally admired.
4) Being judgmental
We all have our own opinions and beliefs, and that’s perfectly okay.
When we start passing judgment on others based on these opinions, it can create a divide.
Being judgmental can make others feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.
It can give the impression that you think you’re superior or that your way is the only right way.
This behavior can quickly turn people away, affecting your popularity negatively.
As we get older, it’s important to cultivate empathy and understanding.
Everyone is fighting their own battles and living their own stories.
Instead of judging, try to understand. A little empathy can go a long way in building strong, lasting relationships.
5) Avoiding difficult conversations
I’ve always been the kind of person who would rather avoid conflict than face it head-on. I thought it was easier to sweep issues under the rug than to confront them.
But over time, I realized that this behavior was actually causing more harm than good.
Avoiding difficult conversations might seem like the easy way out, but it can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
It can prevent us from addressing issues that need to be resolved and from growing in our relationships with others.
As we age, it’s crucial to learn how to have open, honest conversations, even when they’re uncomfortable.
It shows that you value your relationships enough to work through challenges and disagreements.
This ability can make you more likable and respected in the eyes of others.
6) Neglecting self-care
As we get older, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. With so many responsibilities on our plate, self-care often takes a backseat.
But neglecting your own needs can have negative impacts on your overall personality.
When you’re not taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally, it can affect your mood, energy levels, and even how you interact with others.
It can make you seem tired, stressed or irritable – traits that can repel others rather than attract them.
Remember that it’s not selfish to take time for yourself. In fact, practicing self-care can make you more attractive to others.
It shows you value yourself and are in a better position to extend care and kindness to those around you.
Don’t forget to make time for that yoga class or that book you’ve been meaning to read. Your popularity just might depend on it!
7) Failing to listen
The most important aspect of being popular, regardless of age, is the ability to truly listen to others.
When we show genuine interest in what others have to say, we make them feel valued and important.
Over time, I’ve learned that people are more likely to enjoy your company if they feel heard and understood. When someone is talking to you, really pay attention.
Don’t just wait for your turn to speak.
Listening is more than just hearing words. It’s about understanding and empathizing with the experiences and emotions behind those words.
When you master the art of listening, you not only gain insight into others’ lives and perspectives, but also become a person that others want to be around.
Final thoughts: Popularity is a journey, not a destination
The pursuit of popularity is complex and multifaceted.
As we age, our behaviors and attitudes inevitably change, and so do the criteria that others use to evaluate our likability.
Being popular isn’t about being someone you’re not. It’s about embracing your authentic self, while leaving room for growth and self-improvement.
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, “Character is destiny.” This holds true in the context of popularity as well.
Our behaviors, attitudes, and actions shape how others perceive us.
As we journey through life, let’s shed the behaviors that hold us back and embrace those that foster connection, understanding, and respect.
After all, popularity isn’t just about being liked — it’s about being valued for who we truly are.
May this journey be one of self-discovery, personal growth, and meaningful relationships.
Because at the end of the day, true popularity isn’t measured by how many people know your name.
It’s about how many people feel better after they’ve interacted with you.
